I have taken an intentional break from blogging. The holidays were filled with some serious game playing, a Kutless Christmas concert where Ryan and I volunteered, baking, a trip to see the Nutcracker, and simple days. It was awesome! Ryan took about a week and a half off and we all really just enjoyed life together.
And then we rang in the new year with everyone at the Dr.'s office and many on a much needed antibiotic.
But here I am, back to writing, and healthy (except for a serious calf muscle strain-long story...let's just say patience is not one of my strong suits)!
I am going to wrap up the series on kids and work today. To find part 1 go here. For part 2: here.
Our family has a designated chore time five days a week. It happens M,T,Th,F,Sat. Wednesdays are a busy day for us outside of the house and chores just don't make sense that day. Currently, I have the kids doing their weekday chores after lunch. This allows us to have a solid morning to get school done. On Saturdays, chores are first thing. Sundays are a day of rest.
We do pay our children a bit for chores. This consists of a couple of quarters a week. We don't want to make this a large money making ordeal. However, we want to give a small opportunity for them to begin learning some money managing skills. In addition, it is a way to introduce the concept of working to earn a paycheck.
We do not pay all of the children equally. Our oldest two earn a quarter more than J does and their assigned jobs reflect that difference. M and S do not have chores nor do they receive any income.
Our children usually begin doing chores when they are between 3 and 4. This begins with simply putting away their own clean laundry, making their bed and maybe helping dust or wipe down counters or feed a pet.
Typically by the time they are 4 they are ready to take on some more independent light cleaning. It is better to begin this process early rather than late. Just don't overwhelm them; you want this to be a positive, helpful experience.
As a practical matter, how do we handle kids and chemicals? We don't. I use all natural cleaners. You can make some of your own. You can look to buy some 7th Generation at the store (not really my favorite, but convenient).
We purchase through Melaleuca (I use all of their cleaners and laundry/dish detergent) and through Frontier (I buy Citra-Solv and all of our personal products from them). Team up with like minded friends and family if you wish to do an account on Melaleuca as it requires a monthly commitment that I find is typically beyond what one family needs. Or contact Frontier to see if they have a buying group in your area.
Honestly, long-term, you will save piles of money with these two companies if you become committed to natural products. I don't sell for either of them. It is just my honest opinion.
My last bit of advice is to be consistent, but flexible. Keep chores going despite any whining or complaining. Better yet, inform your children that income is only given out when their jobs have been done well and cheerfully.
But if a child is not feeling well or it has been a particular stressful day I may declare that there are no chores, but that everyone needs to work together to get a particular two or three things done. Sometimes this is simply emptying the dishwasher or picking up the living spaces. This helps everyone enjoy a bit of grace, but work together to keep our home functioning.
No matter what, make chores and working together a priority. It will instill work ethic, personal responsibility, and a sense of belonging to each young one.
Showing posts with label Motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motherhood. Show all posts
January 19, 2012
June 06, 2011
Recital
Here in the upper midwest we endured a mild winter, in place of spring, until about three weeks ago. Suddenly, and I mean suddenly, our beautiful late spring/summer weather is here. It has been a wonderful blessing and much anticipated. Our flowers are blooming, trees are filling out, veggies are in dirt, a sandbox is in progress, a few bike rides are under our belts, an air show and story garden have been enjoyed by all and I have not a single blog post to show for it.
I mentioned this to Ryan yesterday and his comment was, "That is perfectly fine. Those that can't, write. Those that can, do." I'm not sure of the original context of this quote, but it was mildly comforting in my case, I will admit. It has been great to be doing.
However, I will try to dig myself out of the backlog I have going.
Toward the end of May T had her first dance recital.
It was a two hour program (performed two times in one day-yes it was a long day) showcasing the different levels of dance that her awesome Christian teacher instructs for the local rec department. T's class performed one tap number. We had a blast putting on her make-up and curling her hair.
T surprised me with her calm poise and how comfortable she was on stage. The lights and audience did not phase her at all. She was very matter-of-fact about the parts of her routine she forgot, but very upbeat about how she did stay on track nearly the whole song. It was delightful to hear her unprompted and positive commentary on herself.
She is fourth from the left, in the front (looking to the side).
I stayed backstage with her all throughout the first performance and then switched with another mom from our church for the second performance so I could sit with the rest of our family to watch the recital.
This backstage experience was fun for T and I. She brought along some coloring and played some card games with her classmates. She brought along her all-important bear and blanket. I helped her into the right spot in line and walked her up to the stage.
However, the day of her recital left a very bittersweet impression on me. I watched many a mom and daughter interact and listened to these moms converse.
As T happily sat in my lap coloring and undoubtedly enjoying my undivided attention I listened to moms tell their daughters to leave them alone, go play over there, or other similar instructions. Sure they said these things casually and sometimes even with a sweet tone. But I just kept thinking how this was a first recital for most of these girls. What an important 'landmark' in these little lives. An opportunity to support them, hear their concerns, ease their nerves, and offer encouraging words.
Then as we waited in the hot and stuffy wings for T's class to go on stage I listened to a mom explaining to another how she only agreed to do 'this awful duty' with her husband because he said she could go and disappear shopping the next day. This made me so sad! Her five year old daughter was right next to her. Is it so normal for people to talk of their children as burdens that it is now acceptable to verbalize this to the children? Did this mom think her words made no impact on her daughter?
I observed more than a dozen parents decide to leave their, under age seven, children unattended because they wanted to 'enjoy the show' or 'my daughter is old enough'. No, the rec department did not assign people to watch these children.
There were more than a few times where a daughter would tell their mom something, repeat it, pull on their mom's leg, and finally receive a 'WHAT?'. All the while the mom is texting or busy with their phone.
I have mentioned before how I have been introduced to Sally Clarkson and some of her books. As I have been reading through the Mission of Motherhood Sally discusses the two common, and unhealthy, views parents have of the purpose of children. These are 1)as a burden and 2)to fulfill the parents' emotional needs. How clearly I saw these acted out on that sad May day.
Sally advocates that the Bible clearly says that children are a blessing given to us by God to pass on our Christian heritage. Not a concern to pass the buck on. Not a bother to shoo away. Not a clay pot to make fit our mold of the perfect child.
Sure, I don't always remember to only see my children in the light of a blessing from God. It is a challenge, especially in our society.
But it is a challenge that I am happy to undertake with His help on a daily basis. And by doing so, intentionally, I hope to spread that down through generations. Because as I saw first hand, a month ago, there are going to be even more lost mothers, in twenty years, than there are today. And I hope to help my daughters avoid being in that crowd.
Our lovely, and exhausted, T at the end of her big day, with flowers from her dad.
I mentioned this to Ryan yesterday and his comment was, "That is perfectly fine. Those that can't, write. Those that can, do." I'm not sure of the original context of this quote, but it was mildly comforting in my case, I will admit. It has been great to be doing.
However, I will try to dig myself out of the backlog I have going.
Toward the end of May T had her first dance recital.
T surprised me with her calm poise and how comfortable she was on stage. The lights and audience did not phase her at all. She was very matter-of-fact about the parts of her routine she forgot, but very upbeat about how she did stay on track nearly the whole song. It was delightful to hear her unprompted and positive commentary on herself.
She is fourth from the left, in the front (looking to the side).
I stayed backstage with her all throughout the first performance and then switched with another mom from our church for the second performance so I could sit with the rest of our family to watch the recital.
This backstage experience was fun for T and I. She brought along some coloring and played some card games with her classmates. She brought along her all-important bear and blanket. I helped her into the right spot in line and walked her up to the stage.
However, the day of her recital left a very bittersweet impression on me. I watched many a mom and daughter interact and listened to these moms converse.
As T happily sat in my lap coloring and undoubtedly enjoying my undivided attention I listened to moms tell their daughters to leave them alone, go play over there, or other similar instructions. Sure they said these things casually and sometimes even with a sweet tone. But I just kept thinking how this was a first recital for most of these girls. What an important 'landmark' in these little lives. An opportunity to support them, hear their concerns, ease their nerves, and offer encouraging words.
Then as we waited in the hot and stuffy wings for T's class to go on stage I listened to a mom explaining to another how she only agreed to do 'this awful duty' with her husband because he said she could go and disappear shopping the next day. This made me so sad! Her five year old daughter was right next to her. Is it so normal for people to talk of their children as burdens that it is now acceptable to verbalize this to the children? Did this mom think her words made no impact on her daughter?
I observed more than a dozen parents decide to leave their, under age seven, children unattended because they wanted to 'enjoy the show' or 'my daughter is old enough'. No, the rec department did not assign people to watch these children.
There were more than a few times where a daughter would tell their mom something, repeat it, pull on their mom's leg, and finally receive a 'WHAT?'. All the while the mom is texting or busy with their phone.
I have mentioned before how I have been introduced to Sally Clarkson and some of her books. As I have been reading through the Mission of Motherhood Sally discusses the two common, and unhealthy, views parents have of the purpose of children. These are 1)as a burden and 2)to fulfill the parents' emotional needs. How clearly I saw these acted out on that sad May day.
Sally advocates that the Bible clearly says that children are a blessing given to us by God to pass on our Christian heritage. Not a concern to pass the buck on. Not a bother to shoo away. Not a clay pot to make fit our mold of the perfect child.
Sure, I don't always remember to only see my children in the light of a blessing from God. It is a challenge, especially in our society.
But it is a challenge that I am happy to undertake with His help on a daily basis. And by doing so, intentionally, I hope to spread that down through generations. Because as I saw first hand, a month ago, there are going to be even more lost mothers, in twenty years, than there are today. And I hope to help my daughters avoid being in that crowd.
May 24, 2011
Our Firecracker is One...and how!
A little over a year ago we welcomed a red-headed little girl into our family. She was our biggest baby yet at 8 lbs even and our second longest at 21 inches. It seemed to take about six months for her very special personality to begin shining through.
And, wow, has she ever become her own individual little person. She knows what she wants, when she is done, and when she has not had enough. She has an abundant amount of spunk, humor, goofiness, and unique explorations to entertain her many family members.
Can you guess who took the picture and who was running to take the dog food bowl away from her??
S is a very, VERY determined little one.
Yes she tried to get up the stairs through the baby gate. And got stuck at least a couple times. When that didn't work she learned how to stand on her tip-toes and use the very small, hard to move, gate latch we had modified our baby gate with. So now we have a large toy box at the base of our stairs. (I refuse to play gate-keeper all day long for the older children)
She is very tough.
She has no problem taking the many bumps that come with the toddler stage (and with her style, it is MANY). We have a step-down into our family room. Until recently she insisted on taking the decline head first, typically without any complaint.
She absolutely loves walking/running down the sidewalk. But she hasn't mastered the level changes in the concrete. No sweat, she says, we fall, laugh, giggle, and keep on runnin'.
Yes, S lives life on the fast track.
I can not even count how many times our littlest has been told, by complete strangers, "sweetie, you might want to walk before you run". No, she is not for the slow and mellow paced among us. She is going now, and going FAST, people. To help her with that, grandpa and grandma gave her a shopping cart to careen around corners with on a daily basis.
She relishes being the center of attention.
I recently took her to the room at church in which parents may watch the service with their noisier children (S has frequent flier miles to this room). There were a few other parents (mostly, first timers) already in there with their little ones. S proceeded to go around the room to each adult, make a raised eyebrow with big smile face at them, return to me, babble about her experience, and go back to her socialization. The whole time she was nearly running with the hiccups. She had the whole room watching her, smiling, and I think a bit overwhelmed. I was a bit embarrassed, or overwhelmed, myself. S never seems to do quite what I have come to expect from years with our older ones.
She loved being in the center of 'Happy Birthday'. I couldn't hardly keep her from eating the lit candle!
I love the above picture. Often, when something excites S or she has words "streaming from her eyeballs" she looks at me with this very intense, focused, and thrilled look. I hope she continues to so eagerly want to inform me of all the happenings in her life. It speaks to me about how important loving and accepting her somewhat wild personality is, with the aim of building a solid relationship!
S is a very big ham.
Anytime she hears music or if she is asked to dance she sways more than half her body to a very quick beat, in a goofy style, all her own. And she will do it double-time if laughed at. If you aren't convinced how much of a ham she can be just check-out the many faces she made about her birthday carrot cake experience.
S wins people over.
Everytime Ryan comes home from work she runs to him and calls out dada dada over and over in the sweetest, but most insistent way. He has said, 'that's just not fair', refering to the "I'm going to make you melt" effect her endearing love for him has on her. She loves people. S doesn't like being alone, but thrives off of interaction and people enjoy her.
S is a blast to have around, but also stretches Ryan and I. I like to believe that God gave her to us now because we should be wiser parents at this point. Continuously, I remind myself that with her I must win the battles, but never get angry. Emotional responses don't produce desirable results. But I have to prove to her that I am more persistent than she is (and hopefully, keep her believing it for about two more decades). And that, folks, is a challenge.
If you ever happen to have the pleasure of holding her (she can be a precious cuddle bug when tired) you will quickly learn what I mean. When S wants down (which is often) you might as well be holding a giant snake with tentacles. She will squirm, push, and turn herself against you with mighty strength until you finally put her down.
But, typically, letting her down is not a battle I need to fight. So, I let her run.
See, I was a strong willed child. I appreciate all of the positive characteristics that come with that. I was not, however, quite this silly or out-going. I know that strong-willed people have optimism (it requires optimism to keep trying). I also know that she will be able to learn and accomplish many things because of her determination.
This is the balance. Not crushing her determination or spirit. Realizing that God made her the firecracker she is for very good reasons which we may never understand. But teaching her boundaries, respect, and discipline. When to temper her wild side and when she can let fly with her craziness.
And, most of all, smiling and enjoying all the many fun things about our little S!
And, wow, has she ever become her own individual little person. She knows what she wants, when she is done, and when she has not had enough. She has an abundant amount of spunk, humor, goofiness, and unique explorations to entertain her many family members.
Can you guess who took the picture and who was running to take the dog food bowl away from her??
S is a very, VERY determined little one.
Yes she tried to get up the stairs through the baby gate. And got stuck at least a couple times. When that didn't work she learned how to stand on her tip-toes and use the very small, hard to move, gate latch we had modified our baby gate with. So now we have a large toy box at the base of our stairs. (I refuse to play gate-keeper all day long for the older children)
She is very tough.
She has no problem taking the many bumps that come with the toddler stage (and with her style, it is MANY). We have a step-down into our family room. Until recently she insisted on taking the decline head first, typically without any complaint.
She absolutely loves walking/running down the sidewalk. But she hasn't mastered the level changes in the concrete. No sweat, she says, we fall, laugh, giggle, and keep on runnin'.
Yes, S lives life on the fast track.
I can not even count how many times our littlest has been told, by complete strangers, "sweetie, you might want to walk before you run". No, she is not for the slow and mellow paced among us. She is going now, and going FAST, people. To help her with that, grandpa and grandma gave her a shopping cart to careen around corners with on a daily basis.
She relishes being the center of attention.
I recently took her to the room at church in which parents may watch the service with their noisier children (S has frequent flier miles to this room). There were a few other parents (mostly, first timers) already in there with their little ones. S proceeded to go around the room to each adult, make a raised eyebrow with big smile face at them, return to me, babble about her experience, and go back to her socialization. The whole time she was nearly running with the hiccups. She had the whole room watching her, smiling, and I think a bit overwhelmed. I was a bit embarrassed, or overwhelmed, myself. S never seems to do quite what I have come to expect from years with our older ones.
She loved being in the center of 'Happy Birthday'. I couldn't hardly keep her from eating the lit candle!
S is a very big ham.
Anytime she hears music or if she is asked to dance she sways more than half her body to a very quick beat, in a goofy style, all her own. And she will do it double-time if laughed at. If you aren't convinced how much of a ham she can be just check-out the many faces she made about her birthday carrot cake experience.
S wins people over.
Everytime Ryan comes home from work she runs to him and calls out dada dada over and over in the sweetest, but most insistent way. He has said, 'that's just not fair', refering to the "I'm going to make you melt" effect her endearing love for him has on her. She loves people. S doesn't like being alone, but thrives off of interaction and people enjoy her.
S is a blast to have around, but also stretches Ryan and I. I like to believe that God gave her to us now because we should be wiser parents at this point. Continuously, I remind myself that with her I must win the battles, but never get angry. Emotional responses don't produce desirable results. But I have to prove to her that I am more persistent than she is (and hopefully, keep her believing it for about two more decades). And that, folks, is a challenge.
If you ever happen to have the pleasure of holding her (she can be a precious cuddle bug when tired) you will quickly learn what I mean. When S wants down (which is often) you might as well be holding a giant snake with tentacles. She will squirm, push, and turn herself against you with mighty strength until you finally put her down.
But, typically, letting her down is not a battle I need to fight. So, I let her run.
See, I was a strong willed child. I appreciate all of the positive characteristics that come with that. I was not, however, quite this silly or out-going. I know that strong-willed people have optimism (it requires optimism to keep trying). I also know that she will be able to learn and accomplish many things because of her determination.
This is the balance. Not crushing her determination or spirit. Realizing that God made her the firecracker she is for very good reasons which we may never understand. But teaching her boundaries, respect, and discipline. When to temper her wild side and when she can let fly with her craziness.
May 10, 2011
Need some Mom encouragement?
Recently a lifelong friend of mine told me about Sally Clarkson. Sally and her husband have a family ministry. I admit I knew nothing about her, had never even heard her name. But my friend, Melissa (whose judgement I respect), raved about Sally's books on mothering. I have recently begun The Mission of Motherhood.
A few weeks ago, I stumbled upon Sally's blog and have found it to be incredibly encouraging. Her words are refreshing and inspiring. As my friend told me, Sally holds very high ideals and standards, but encourages generous amounts of grace. If you are looking for some inspiring words for your daily mom journey I would highly recommend it:
http://www.itakejoy.com/
Hope you had a blessed Mother's Day enjoying your children!
A few weeks ago, I stumbled upon Sally's blog and have found it to be incredibly encouraging. Her words are refreshing and inspiring. As my friend told me, Sally holds very high ideals and standards, but encourages generous amounts of grace. If you are looking for some inspiring words for your daily mom journey I would highly recommend it:
http://www.itakejoy.com/
Hope you had a blessed Mother's Day enjoying your children!
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