There are times in our lives in which we inevitably encounter obstacles which feel insurmountable. For someone like me, who tends to tackle everything head on with an 'I can do this' attitude, it seems God really likes to use these 'mountains' to remind me how much I can not do without His help.
I have mentioned on this blog many times about our struggles regarding S sleeping through the night. Our first four children slept eight hours or more, consistently, between the ages of six and ten weeks. We were ready to write the book on how to teach a baby to sleep through the night. Ryan and I successfully scheduled all of our other children by the time they were four months old with naps and bedtime. It kept the peace. We both like things in order and enjoy being rested.
Along came S. She arrived amidst many major life changes. Ryan had a new job. We were moving closer to that place of employment. We were purchasing a house. I blamed her lack of routine on this craziness. As we became settled she turned two months. However, all efforts toward scheduling seemed to be in vain.
In the fall, I was beside myself with exhaustion. We prayed and felt lost. I had gone six months with hardly more than five or six hours of sleep in a row. By December (she was eight months old) I felt completely desperate and weaned her entirely onto formula. I have never done this, with any of our other children, prior to thirteen months old, unless I was pregnant (which I am not). However, it appeared to me that she needed more calories and her metabolism simply couldn't make it through the night. This helped, but S and I still enjoyed moments together between 2 and 4 am. We prayed some more.
Often Ryan would ask sleepily, in the middle of the night, "what was up with her?". I began to answer, over and over, "Only God knows. I fed her and she is back to sleep." This was all I knew: nothing. Only God could help her, and us, sleep through the night. So I prayed, every early, groggy morning.
We continued this way through January, February, and March. We prayed some more.
Then it happened. God blessed us with mercy.
One week in late March she suddenly slept one night all the way through. But it wasn't a fluke. It continued. It has been a little over a month now. Thank you, Lord!
I feel like a new person. It is astounding to think of how many nights I was up.
We even moved her into sleep with T and J! They have all enjoyed two quiet nights together.
It may be a small thing in the big scheme of things. But we prayed and He answered. So, here we put up our pillar to remember how He was faithful to hear us and answer.